Alignment Pathways

Some people don’t misunderstand you by accident. Some people need to misunderstand you because seeing you clearly, would shatter the version of you that they’ve created to feel comfortable. They will shrink you down, twist your intentions, and label you in ways that aren’t fair or real. If you’ve ever felt like an open book in a world full of people dedicated to skimming your pages just to rewrite your story anyway, I truly hope you’re able to take something from this post.

The Emotional Punch of Being Misread

Being accused of the very things you stand against can feel like a punch to the gut. Being labeled as cold when you know your heart is warm, or someone saying your harsh when you’re being honest, or even cruel when your words come from love. It can be far more than frustrating, it can feel defeating.

Especially when you’ve worked hard to say and do things that are aligned with who you are and who you want to be as a person. When you’re careful to not say or do the wrong things, but some people still insist on misjudging and twisting everything that you do. It’s bound to get to you at times, it’ll make you question if you really know who you are or what you’re doing, and will make you try to get someone else to understand you because they’re hurt by actions that you took with love, care, effort, kindness, and loyalty.

When Honesty Isn’t Received, Just Rejected

Being honest doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person or mean. In fact, honesty is actually one of the best qualities to have as a person, in my personal opinion anyway. People feel safe around honest people. It’s what makes people trust you.

Not everyone though, some people will twist honesty into a personal attack because they were never looking for the truth. So many people are just complacent, not learning, not moving forward, not doing better. When an honest person comes around, even when their words come from love, it shatters their facade and grounds them to reality. They don’t want the truth, they want confirmation and validation, so they can keep doing what they do, guilt free. When you don’t play their game, they punish you for it. You could lay your heart out, your reasons, your history, anything and everything and people will still twist what you say and actions you take. They curate this image of you in their heads and no matter how hard you try to show them it isn’t how you are, some people just don’t care. If they actually considered who you are as a person, they wouldn’t be able to justify their responses, their actions, their reality. They need to view you in the wrong light so they can protect their own ego.

You Only Owe You

Here’s the truth: the ONLY person entitled to an explanation for your actions and words is you. If you hurt someone, and you know it’s yours to own, then yes, you take accountability, you apologize, and you take responsibility of your actions. Outside of that? You don’t owe a thing to someone dedicated to constantly misunderstanding you.

Let’s be real: strong people make insecure people uncomfortable. When you walk with confidence, speak with clarity, move with intention and refuse to dim your light for some else’s comfort, some people are going to take offence just because they can’t do the same. That is not a YOU problem. That’s just projection

It’s not your job to shrink yourself just to make a smaller mind feel safe.

Let Your Actions Speak- Then Let Go

You’ve worked hard to be who you are. You walk through life always making sure that your words and actions align with your values and what you stand for. You’re careful to make sure everything you do is authentic to who you want to be and are. So if someone chooses to be blind to that? That’s their story to carry, not yours.

Let your actions speak for themselves. Let how you live your life be your evidence. Let go of the need to convince people of who you are, just be who you are.

Growth

This is a big one- and it’s important. Growing and becoming better versions of ourselves isn’t always graceful, and it comes with plenty hiccups. As humans, we are always growing, forever evolving and constantly learning new thing about life. People who don’t want to understand you will use these moments in your life to solidify their belief in who you are to them. They will see you’re new boundaries and fading people-pleasing tendencies as brigades and distance, and use that to further their narrative.

We mess up, and that’s okay. You check yourself, right the wrongs where you need to, and you get back on the path that aligns with who you are. Don’t let someone’s old idea of who you are keep you from becoming the version of yourself that you believe in. You know in your heart what’s right and what’s wrong. Trust that.

Your People Will Know

I’m going to wrap it up here, you’re reading this post because you find yourself explaining who you are to people who just don’t get it or ones who don’t want to listen. You may even be tired of it.

The way out? It’s you, it’s here. Your explanation doesn’t need to be louder. It’s about aligning your actions with who you want to be.

Make sure your words and actions reflect the kind of life you want. Show up as the version of you that makes you proud. The version of you that honors your truth, even when it’s misunderstood.

After that? Let it go. Your people will come and they will see you, they will hear you, they will know who you are without needing a PowerPoint presentation to show them. They will see your actions and you wont have to prove a thing.